I'm home alone for four days. Well, not completely alone - just without my husband which feels like being all alone. I have the girls here, of course. They are in the dining room eating popcorn before (hopefully) going off to bed soon. I was passing the time looking through my blog list and found a site that didn't sound familiar to me. I clicked on the link and, to my surprise, it was this blog . . . MY blog. I had forgotten all about it! The last entry was made well over two years ago, before Miss Clementine was born. Before my father passed away. Before a lot of things happened.
So, I thought, since I'm sans husband and needing something to do (yes, I could do laundry or sweep the floor, but why?) why not write a new post? Catch all my non-readers up on what's been happening. :)
The biggest news is the impending arrival of Baby Boy. After four girls, and on the heels of two very difficult miscarriages, I am very large with child. Our first man cub. Our Blessing. He is due in five weeks but seems to be telling me he'd like to arrive a little earlier than that despite my pleas and protests that we are not quite ready for his entrance just yet. Still have a few things to do before we are as ready as parents can be.
When Clementine was born, I didn't want any more children. It was a very difficult birth and I just didn't feel like I had it in me to do it all over again. Funny how my ways are so different from God's ways. When she was just 6 months old, my father was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He passed away within weeks. I'll spare the details for now as he deserves his own dedicated post. Very soon after his passing, I found out I was pregnant. I can't express how shocked and grateful I was to be pregnant. After such a stinging loss to find out we would be blessed with new life was such a balm.
A little over 10 weeks into that pregnancy, I began bleeding. Because that had happened before, I was hopeful that the pregnancy would continue. I had never miscarried that late into a pregnancy before and it was very traumatic. I was determined immediately to try again. The thought of having my last pregnancy being a loss was too much to bear.
A month later my oldest daughter made the decision to go live with her father. Another loss for me. I threw myself into my new-found passion (which was actually a life-long passion with a renewed fervor) of politics and began to medicate myself with Liberty and Dr. Paul. I somehow ended up chairing the county caucus, being sent to the county convention, then on to the state convention, and finally running for PCO (Precinct Committee Officer) and winning the election. I began attending every city council meeting and speaking up and speaking out. I had my eye on running for city council eventually. I was committed, passionate, determined.
God knows just how to orchestrate our lives, lay our paths, and guide our steps. During the state convention, I had pink eye in both eyes. I could hardly see but that didn't stop me from participating. The day I came back home I discovered I was pregnant again. A couple weeks later, I miscarried again. The distraction of being so involved in politics was the perfect way to ensure that I didn't succumb to the despair that was tempting me. I had taken it upon myself to help raise money for a friend to attend the Republican National Convention in Florida and I had responsibilities and places to be, things to do.
Well, that is about all I have time for writing. The girls are upstairs brushing their teeth which sounds a lot like fighting and goofing around.
