It's Here!

We received our packet of information from the adoption agency today! In it is all sorts of forms and contracts and information on what to fill out and how. It looks daunting, but I think we can complete everything by the end of March, probably earlier. When it comes to paperwork, I love to dive in and work until it's all done.

On to Step 2!

Is it a boy or a girl?

Yes. :)

We're still a long way from this decision being set in stone, but we have been thinking about it a lot. Initially my husband was set on a little girl because the conditions in country for a young woman are just terrible. There is a level of sexism that rates on the scale of the Middle East. Forced marriages, rapes, lack of education, and lack of access to proper healthcare top the list. We watched A Walk to Beautiful and caught only a glimpse of the life some women must endure.

After further thought (and prayer), my husband wants to be open to either a boy or a girl and let God choose our child. After all, the conditions aren't much better for a young man. Jeremy makes a good point that, if we raise a son, there will be one more man who is raised to respect, honor, and cherish women. A man who will not have his mind poisoned by sexism. A man who may choose to return to his country educated and equipped to help the women there, much like the OB/GYN from the movie who repaired the women's fistulas and gave them a second chance at life. Oh, how proud I would be to raise such a son!

So, as soon as the paperwork arrives (they've received our application and cashed our check - should be any day now!), we will begin the home study/dossier process and state our wishes to let God choose our child. Either way it will be a privilege. I continue to pray that God gives comfort and peace to the mother and father who will face the decision to let their child go in hopes of a better life. Oh, that I may prove worthy of such a trust.

What's in a Name?

When I began this blog, I had to think up a name. I chose "More than Conquerors" because that comes from my favorite Scripture verse. It was never intended to be a permanent title, but I haven't been able to come up with something clever, pithy, unique, and yet conveys all the intricacies of what it means to be called as Christians to adopt. Yeah, I know, sounds like it should be pretty easy. :)

I've renamed the blog "Open Doors" because, for now, that is what we have encountered (Revelation 3:8). From surprise reimbursement checks from our insurance company, to finding certified copies of birth certificates I didn't know I already had, to finding that the cost of filing a form was less than I originally calculated (in one case it was $0), we have so far had our paths made smooth (Isaiah 45:2-3). I want to honor God in this moment. It may not last much longer and, when we stumble and our paths are not as easy to walk, I know He will still be by our side, guiding and never forsaking. He will see the good work He began in us unto the end.

Paperwork Pregnancy

I've heard the process of gathering the dossier as the "paperwork pregnancy." If that is accurate, then I am still so newly pregnant that morning sickness has not yet set in. I love paperwork. I know, that makes me mentally ill. Hey, I went to college to be an accountant, what can I say? :)

The application should arrive at the adoption agency today. In the meantime I have begun filling out the paperwork for our passports. Mine only needs renewed, which is a somewhat easier process than getting Jeremy's brand new. Next I have the forms to request certified birth certificates for us and the kids, a certified copy of our marriage certificate, and my divorce decree all printed out and ready to mail.

That's about all I can do until I hear from the agency about starting on the home study. One thing I am not is patient and I have read from others who went through this process that God does some serious pruning in that area. Paperwork requirements and timelines will test even the most patient and easy-going. Lord help me to trust you and know that you're timing is perfect.

I've also spent time this morning organizing our loft/office. Too much paperwork has piled up and the sun motivates me to get busy. I'm so glad we'll be going through the paperwork pregnancy during the spring and summer.

In the Mail!

I officially mailed our application this morning! It should get to the agency by Friday and we should hear back within 2 weeks. Then the fun begins! (read: incredibly sarcastic) From what I understand, the next step is the home study in which a social worker comes to visit us a few different times and dissects our family to determine if we're fit to parent. Kinda hoping we are since we've already got 3 children and I'd hate to find out now!

After the home study is the dossier which is a packet of financial and legal information, including the home study, which will be sent to Africa to be translated and used to match a child to our family. Once a child is found, we will be sent a referral which we can accept or decline (I can't imagine declining!). Once we accept, the court process begins and the adoption is finalized in Africa. Then an embassy date is set which is where the child receives a visa to come to America. Usually the adoptive parents fly over to the country to pick up the child and go to the embassy date together, but we are opting to use an escort to bring the child home. Not only does it save us some money, but it means that we don't have to risk something happening to us which would leave our biological children orphaned. It's just not worth the risk, imo.

I'm so excited that we have begun this journey. It may be the most important thing we have done or may ever do. It's one thing to marry and make babies and raise a family. It's a completely different calling to raise someone else's blessing. As much as I look forward to providing a family for a child, my heart simply aches for the mommy and daddy who are unable to care for their little one. I pray I can do them honor by loving their child like he/she were my own. I ask God that He give them peace in their decision to let their child go.

A Perfect World

I have the application packet complete and ready to send first thing tomorrow morning! Praise God for answered prayer! Our pastor and his wife know a couple who recently adopted two girls from the country we are applying to adopt from. I prayed that if they used the same agency that we have found, then I would consider that a sign from God. The agency is a small one, so the likelihood of them using it was pretty small. Well, I got an email from that couple today and they used the agency I was praying over!

Here is the family photo we took for submission. It's not professional, but at least we're all looking at the camera! :)

And She Was

still waiting. The last few weeks have felt like waking up from a dream exhausted because you thought you were running a marathon, but it was only in your mind. A lot of effort and no movement. *Sigh*

In a perfect world here is what will happen: I will get an e-mail or phone call today answering my questions satisfactorily. Jeremy will come home with a new printer ink cartridge and I will finish making copies of the necessary documents, attach them to the application and mail it first thing Wednesday morning. In 10 to 14 days, we'll hear back that we've been approved, and can begin the home study process.

In the meantime I've been reading a lot of other blogs from people who adopted from Africa. The pictures are wonderful! The children are simply beautiful and I love reading the entries from when they first met their new children. It is a good motivator. We also watched A Walk to Beautiful which is a documentary about women in Ethiopia who suffer from fistula, a tearing in the bladder or intestine during obstructed delivery during childbirth. So sad. I wish I were a multi-millionaire and could donate large sums of money to organizations like the ones that help these women.

Patience is a Virtue

It's no surprise to anyone we've spoken to that the biggest challenge of this adoption is the cost. I have changed my mind several times each day because doubt and fear gnaw at me. Every night I go to sleep having decided that it is impossible, only to wake up knowing that God is in control and trusting Him to accomplish His will.

Two things happened since yesterday that have been both encouragements and answered prayers. I can't go into specifics yet, but will as soon as I think it's appropriate. Suffice it to say that the $6000 that we were short, over which I fretted, have been accounted for! I will know with more certainty this week, but a door has been opened that will mean the cost we were anticipating has been reduced by nearly $10,000! We serve a mighty God who gives good gifts to His children!

On Your Mark, Get Set, . . .

Tuesday night was the information meeting at the adoption agency. Carly came with me and there were a few other couples there as well. I met "Mary", the lady we'll be working with on our home study and dossier. She is a very nice lady with a lot of patience. I must have asked a million questions and kept her behind after everyone else had left. There are so many unknowns in this whole process and, as we researched the actual picking up of the child and bringing him or her home, I became overwhelmed with the logistics of it all. Unfortunately, I cannot plan every minute detail in advance. That's very hard to accept for a perfectionist/OCD-type like myself.

We meet with our pastor (and his lovely wife) this weekend. I know that I feel the calling to adopt, and Jeremy feels it. It's just good to discuss with our pastor before getting too far along.

The biggest obstacle is the still the cost. The amount, over the course of nearly two years, is not outrageous in and of itself. It's just that the majority of the cost needs to be paid early on and we're short about $6,000. There are grants available, but we can't apply for those until our home study and dossier are submitted, and payment is due upon submission. (Very much like the - You can't get a job until you gain experience and you can't gain experience until you get a job!)

One piece of good news is that the term "special needs" has a very broad definition and we are open to a child with conditions which would qualify as "special needs." That opens up more grants for which we can apply. It's amazing to me what qualifies. So many are superficial conditions which I wouldn't think of as needing any special treatment. Many are so superficial that no one would even know it was there. And, to be completely honest, isn't just being an orphan a "special need" all to itself?

We have the formal application nearly completed. I think there are some employment questions still unanswered because I need to pull out old tax returns. If the meeting with our pastor goes well, I think we'll be sending it off early next week. If approved, we will be sent the home study packet and begin the process of getting our passports, downloading and filing several legal forms, getting our fingerprints taken, undergoing physical exams, and many other requirements to complete the dossier. The estimated timeline is about 2 to 3 months, though I've read several other blogs where the couple took 6 months or more to get everything in order.

Please pray for us that, if this is God's will, doors will be opened and finances will be available when needed. Most of all pray that, whether it is with us or another couple, that all the children who are without a safe, loving home will soon be in one.

Counting the Cost

What is a soul worth? What price should we place on the value of a human life?

The typical abortion costs $350 to $500. The typical non-foster care domestic adoption costs $5,000 to $30,000. The cost of the average international adoption begins at $25,000. Most families look at those numbers and decide that the cost is too much to adopt. The cost will only continue to grow as fewer and fewer children are available for adoption. $350 seems such a reasonable price for a solution.

Jeremy and I have prayed over the decision to adopt. It has been on my heart since my first daughter was very young. I had just had emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I lost one fallopian tube and my chances for more children were cut in half. I wondered whether it was better to provide a home for a child already waiting than to try to have more of my own. At the time I was too young and had too little income.

Fast forward thirteen years and the desire to adopt has not lessened. God blessed us with two more little girls, he also sustained me through two additional miscarriages. There is a palpable emptiness in my heart and a space in our family waiting to be filled. God spoke to my husband as he watched the devastation in Haiti and told him that now is the time.

God placed a certain country in Africa on my husband's heart before we even began to research adoption. As we began the process, we discovered that that country is the only country that allows adoption to families with three biological children still at home. Within days the magazine we subscribe to arrived with a cover story on the pro-life movement and adoption. The agency we found accepted us though our financial situation excluded us from several other agencies. The lady to whom I spoke, and who will be handling our adoption, has also adopted from Africa and is in the process of doing so again. And so God set in motion a miracle. We are a family with a place waiting for a child, there is a child yet to be born who will need a family, and God is orchestrating it all from his holy throne.

Of what value is a human soul? We are told that our child will cost $28,000. We have about half of that amount right now. I want to clinch my fists and beat the air and scream, "Why have you demanded from us what we cannot possibly give!?" I am like the rich young ruler who turned away from Jesus when he was told to give up his worldly possessions and follow Him. How tightly I have held onto the material when God wishes to bless me with the eternal.

Like Grandpa told Charlie - Money is common. They make more of it every day. But golden tickets are very rare and chances like this may never come again.

Lord, here I am.

Fishers of Men

I love the church we have been attending. The pastor is such a sincere man who preaches boldly, but with grace. Today's message was on Luke 5:1-11, where Jesus casts the fishing nets and captures so many fish, the nets break from the strain. It's hard for me not to find a special meaning meant just for me in such a sermon. So rich is our Father in heaven, how can I not trust in His ability to provide beyond imagination?

The book of James is a wonderful and horrible book. It comforts and accuses with the same stroke of the pen. It is the passage in that book (1:27) that has nagged at me for years, simultaneously calling and condemning me.

About five years ago, Jeremy and I completed the training to be foster parents. We were answering the call to look after orphans and widows in their distress. We ultimately did not submit the final paperwork to be certified. The process was too political and we were told that our answer to a particular question was unacceptable. We decided that the door was being closed and we were content to allow the opportunity to pass.

Then came two beautiful little girls and two years of often painful soul-searching. That call is audible again and, this time, doors are opening and we are walking in faith and not stumbling.

On Tuesday I will attend an information meeting at a local adoption agency. I have a lot of questions prepared. As long as the door remains open, I will continue to walk, not by sight, but by faith for with God, all things are possible.

An Introduction

Hi. I'm Jennifer. I'm a wife and mom and this is my blog. My husband's name is Jeremy. We're both in our mid-thirties, married for eight years. I have a 16-year old daughter, Carly, from a previous marriage. Together Jeremy and I have two girls. Grace will be three next month and Abigail will turn 2 in May. We have begun the process of adopting a child from Africa.

We're not rich. We're not poor. We're just an average family responding in faith to a calling placed on our hearts by a sovereign and holy God.

Thanks for stopping by.