Half-time Show

Yesterday marked my 20th week. The family drove to Portland for our first-ever 3D/4D ultrasound appointment. Since this may be our last blessing, we wanted to do it in style. I was so nervous! I worried about seeing the baby on the screen - would it look weird? Would there be a problem? How would I react to knowing the gender?

The technician was a very sweet woman who was also pregnant. She made me feel relaxed and comfortable. The ultrasound began in 2D and we soon discovered that the location of the placenta was causing a problem viewing our little one. Also, the baby was breech and facing my spine. I think s/he was trying to hide from the camera. :)

So, we weren't able to get 3D/4D video or pictures, just the standard ultrasound. But, their policy is to allow a second visit to try again so we will go back in three weeks and see if baby is better positioned and has grown enough to overcome the obstacles.

We DO know the gender for certain. The baby was very cooperative in that area. :) And, we have decided to treasure this knowledge for ourselves for a while before we share with friends and family. With 3 girls, there are a lot of opinions on whether we're having a boy or girl and I want to take the time to allow our little family to get to know this new person and to imagine how life will be when s/he is born. Then there's the name to choose and we take that VERY seriously around here! I know everyone will understand our choice and it won't be secret for long. :)

Matters of the Heart

Last week I had my monthly visit with my mid-wife. I was 17 weeks. Everything has been going fine with this pregnancy - morning sickness is nearly gone, I started walking again, bump is growing, but not too quickly, weight steady (no gain, no pain) :)

Then it happened. My midwife had me lay down, slimed my belly with ultrasound gel, and began the search for the wonderful sound of little one's heartbeat. Only she couldn't find it. 15 minutes of prodding and searching and nothing. It is an understatement to say that I was freaking out. Where the heck could s/he be? It's not like there's a lot of room to hide. Another 5 minutes of trying after having me get up and walk around to try to move the baby. Still nothing.

Since my uterus was the right size, and there were no other indications of something wrong, she sent me home to "not worry." I have a 3D ultrasound scheduled in a couple weeks and we will find out then.

What, me worry?

I prayed and asked God for the faith and patience to wait and trust Him. I believe in the power of the body and blood of Jesus and have been partaking in Communion throughout this pregnancy. The life is in the blood. Rest in Him.

But, thankfully, my friend mentioned the situation to her doctor (she is due one day after me!) and her doctor generously offered to do an ultrasound/doppler on me for free. I have never heard of such an offer and I couldn't pass it up.

So, yesterday afternoon I walked into the doctor's office and waited for her to have an opening to spare a couple minutes to put my mind at ease. Praise God, the baby's heart was beating strong and I got to hear it for a very precious few seconds. There's no sound more beautiful to an expectant mommy's ears. :)

Hopefully this baby will stop giving me such grief and let me enjoy the rest of my pregnancy (hint, hint). I can't wait to see him/her at the ultrasound appointment!

The Wonders of the Pregnant Brain, or How I Completely Forgot I had Started a Blog!

Thanks to Kristin who recently commented on an old post here, I was reminded that this blog exists. Funny thing happens when a woman becomes pregnant. No wonder how intelligent she was before, her ability to remember things drops significantly. I chalk it up to the tremendous energy being put into growing a human being. My husband just thinks I've lost my mind. :)

I wanted to update anyone who happens to stop over here that things are going much better. Morning sickness is slowly on its way out. Food still tastes different and tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth, but I'm eating and keeping it down and am up out of bed. (Some) household chores are being done and Carly has resumed school. That's about all I can ask.

I am 14 weeks, 5 days pregnant. My belly has officially "popped." I'm at that stage where I am actually trying to look pregnant (i.e., wearing tighter shirts, rubbing my belly in public, putting my hands on my lower back when I'm standing) so people will know that I haven't just gotten fatter - there's a reason my belly has swollen. Think it's working? Yeah, me neither.

Since I last blogged, Grace turned 3, Jeremy turned 30-something, Abigail turned 2, and I turned 29 - again. :) That's a lot of birthday cake!

We have a 3-D ultrasound scheduled for next month. We are definitely going to find out the gender - I have zero patience. I'll break the news as soon as we find out. We're pretty sure of the girl name, but the boy name is elusive. We have a couple ideas, but nothing that just shouts out to us. Probably because it's a girl - which we are fine with. Jeremy is actually hoping for a girl.

Now that I know this blog exists, I'll try to update more regularly. Can't promise anything. Might forget all over again by tomorrow. :)

Ah, the Joys of Pregnancy

I'm a wuss. Sure, I've given birth thrice, once at home, without the use of any pain medication. Not even a Tylenol. Pain, I can handle. Nausea, I cannot. I'm a baby when it comes to feeling sick. A big, whiny baby.

Today I am 7 weeks, 1 day pregnant and in the throes of morning sickness. As any of you who've had morning sickness know, it rarely occurs only in the morning. Mine is the 24-hour variety. I feel sick if I eat. I feel sick if I don't eat. I can't tolerate liquids. I'm tired all the time. I'm remembering why adoption seemed so attractive. :)

My husband has been taking care of the house at night. Carly has been taking care of the girls during the day. School is on hold for a few weeks until I feel up to teaching. We'll skip summer break to make up the time - and since we'll have a couple months off after the baby is born. The baby is due November 10th, and it will be nice to take the time off for the holidays.

Adoption is still very much on our hearts. There have been a couple changes in the adopting process that have been cautiously optimistic news. Hubby would like to wait until this new baby is a year old before starting the process up again. Four children under 5 is a lot to handle. I never thought of myself as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom and yet the desire continues to grow. Not every woman can cook, sew, garden, and do crafts - and I'm learning that even those of us who lack many homemaking skills can still be good homemakers. It's about commitment, love, life-long learning, and preaching God's word. That I can do.

So our journey has led us down a different path for now. This morning sickness, too, shall pass. And soon, I'll be back to normal (whatever that means!) and will share with you the ups and downs of our family life.

We Interrupt This Blog to Bring You an Important Announcement

We're pregnant!

It's the old joke about the surest way to get pregnant is to begin the process of adoption.

So, I called the adoption agency today and had them stop our paperwork before they open it and cash our checks. Next I called my midwife and made an appointment for next week.

Can't say it isn't ever exciting here at our house. :)

Hopefully we'll be able to resume the adoption process after the baby is born. We'll see. God's ways are not my ways, but His ways are better. I'm not sure why He took us down this path only to have it diverted. Maybe He was testing our faith. Maybe we misunderstood the calling on our hearts to have another child. Either way we count it all joy.

One Down, Two to Go

So we didn't make my Wednesday deadline. My husband had a job to work, or some other sorry excuse (JK, honey!). I sent off the preliminary paperwork today and our four references should be sending their letters soon. I know one person already sent hers (thanks!). We still are working on our on-line training and our medical exams aren't until April 6th. I don't think that will hold up the agency from sending us the next round of information and paperwork for the homestudy.

I've joined some on-line groups to help mentor me through this process. One is a group of Christian parents who have adopted from Africa. The other is a group of parents who have used our agency. The third group is parents who homeschool and have adopted internationally. A lot of good information, but so many perspectives and opinions that it can be difficult sometimes to navigate a discussion without offending someone, misunderstanding a meaning, or being misunderstaood.

We have asked for approval to adopt two (yes, two) children. We've heard it's better to ask permission for two and then decide to adopt one than to try to get approval for two later down the road. We are open to an infant under 6 months, either gender and a girl between one- and two-years old. I don't know if we qualify. God has simply placed the desire on our hearts to provide a family for two children.

Oh, I wanted to mention one more blessing God has provided in funding this adoption. Our medical exams, which carry a co-pay of $20 each, qualify as an annual wellness visit and we will be given $50 each. That means that each medical appointment will pay us $30! It may not seem like a lot considering how much we've paid so far, but every little bit helps and I'm so thankful to God for providing in small and large ways.

One Week Deadline

We received our first packet of info from the agency last Thursday. I was hoping to have all the paperwork filled out and ready to send back by this Thursday. That's not going to happen, but we're very close. I'm so anxious to get to the part where we're actually doing the home study and putting together our dossier that I view this preliminary portion as more a frustrating obstacle than a satisfying step closer to our child. Think God might have a lesson to learn here? :)

Jeremy is closer to being finished with his personal data than I am and we still have several chapters of our training series to complete. That should be done this week. That only leaves our medical exams which are scheduled for early April. Not too bad. I'm not sure what the next step is after we send all this paperwork to the agency, but I think it will involve scheduling the home study and being sent another packet of info telling us what we need for the dossier and how to get it. It's only slightly less painful than actual childbirth.

Our deadline is still my birthday, which is mid-May. I hope to give myself the gift of DTE (dossier sent to "name of country") for my birthday this year. I'll also accept donations to our adoption fund (hint, hint) ;).

I've been stopped several times over the last week when out with my kids. People love to comment on how cute they are, or well-behaved. They often ask if I have any more children and I usually answer that I have a teenager as well (since she's usually not with me when I'm out and about). It's been very hard not to say that we are expecting. That's exactly how I feel - pregnant with an unknown due date. I can't wait to be waiting.